i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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