I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize