So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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