Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize