No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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