why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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