I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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