So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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