You're completely useless in the revolution.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize