party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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