I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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