I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he thought i was a dude.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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