This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
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Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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