Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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