I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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