i just wanna soil my oats bro
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
the liver wants what the liver wants
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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