Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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