His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize