Betty ford says i'm here all night
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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