evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize