Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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