Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize