Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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