sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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