I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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