Someone shit on the floor
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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