in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize