p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize