i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize