Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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