the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize