No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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