38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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