69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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