so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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