She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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