Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need a beard to bite.
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