im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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