is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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