I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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