Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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