p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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