That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize