You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize