no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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