My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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