shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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