I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize