idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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