this beer tastes like vomit already
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
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ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
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I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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